Rules for dating a musician

Don’t take my swearing-off musicians as a warning, per se. They have intense relationships with their band mates that will be more important to them than the relationship they have with you. It’s a wonder anyone in a band has time for a romantic relationship given how much time they spend bickering with each other over big egos, women, money, and God knows what else. So handle with care: the sweet, sensitive guy who writes you love songs is also going to be sensitive about that nasty Pitchfork commenter. Your musician boo may not write songs about you, exactly, but about your relationship or love in general. On the contrary, my loss is your gain — the more for you! Whether it’s an all-out Axl Rose and Slash situation or more of a slow-simmering Keith Richards and Mick Jagger resentment, band bros have more drama than the “Real Housewives” cast.

However, most of my band mates and musician friends basically live on a stack of pizza boxes, whisky, and Muscle Milk. If they are inspired to write something, whatever you're doing has to stop. Also, why is Smash Mouth your favorite band of all the time? All those songs I played you when we first met couldn't have been about you.But whether you’re a male or female in the music industry, there are various complexities that can make romance extremely challenging. • Musicians/Artists get panties (or bras, or boxer shorts) thrown at them.Before I even get into it, let me properly preface this with some important context. To every non-musician reading this, you’re just an outsider looking in. Here are some of the most common false truths about musicians when it comes to dating, especially for up-and-coming musicians: • Musicians/Artists get TONS of gorgeous women falling for them. Now I’ll be honest, I have my fair share of female supporters, but nothing comes close to an official ‘groupie’.I’d been dating them since high school, both casual guitar-noodlers and career musicians who had songs on CW shows and their faces on T-shirts. If you’re comfortable with long absences, then this is great. Expect to pay for more than your share/everything, but don’t get trapped into supporting him financially at the expense of your own career. While there are plenty of musicians who have day jobs, there are than a few trust fund brats. Think Mel on “Flight Of The Conchords”: mostly harmless, just annoying. A song is not a present (at least in my book), unless your name is Elton John and the song is “Your Song.” But if you date a musician, especially an impoverished musician, he’s going to write you a song in lieu of a more appropriate gift. Blame it on going onstage every night at 11, but a lot of successful musicians are creatures of the night.Again and again I’d fall for the sensitive guitar player who wears eyeliner … But maybe you will be bothered by him missing your birthday because he has a gig in New Jersey, or inclined to paranoia that he’s got “a girl in every port.” Also, if you have pets or kids together, you should expect to do more of the care when he’s on tour. Again, these people aren’t worth getting jealous or insecure about. I might possibly be bitter because I got a song for Valentine’s Day one year which appeared to have been written that same day. If you’re someone who works a 9-to-5 job and requires a full night’s sleep like I do, this is not a match. This is just a fact about all creative folks — writers like myself, actors, musicians, whatever.

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My opinion is that most men are doing it totally wrong. Therefore, the one thing that I’m always lacking is time.

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  1. Thus far, I have read your points on the home page and that of health care. I am a repentant Catholic fully returned to the Church as of 2004.